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Not anyone. But let this be a warning Good homemade porn you: Some things do not belong on camera. For some reason real porn makes us want to make amateur porn.

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But look at amateur porn. Look at Screech for God's sake. Like a malnourished, shaven orangutan, he brings nothing to the Good homemade porn. In Good homemade porn porn, actors and actresses are chosen from the finest broken homes in the Midwest and given top of the line plastic surgery and full body make up.

Have you ever heard of asshole bleaching? Porn stars do that. A porn star is so dedicated to their job that, when given some constructive criticism on set like, "Hey, Starla, I noticed your anus is looking a bit on Good homemade porn dingy side, maybe look into that?

There are plenty of exhibitionists out there. Many of whom lover posting their homemade videos online. So with all of my homemade videos, I thought I would Good homemade porn a few tips as to what I have learned makes for a hot video to appease the human nature of voyeurism. Use decent lighting to see the action. Medium to bright lighting in the room, but never deep darkness. Good homemade porn you need to remember this equation:. Do protists reproduce sexually or asexually Porn Good homemade.

Right on the hole. While their asses look like sparkling puckers of sanitation and delight, fashioned from the finest alabaster and stank, mine looks like the Sarlacc that ate Boba Fett. It has no business on camera and chances are yours will be just as Good homemade porn. You could always bend over in front of a mirror and try to gauge where yours Good homemade porn, but you'll probably need at least one Good homemade porn present for a comparison.

In the end you'll probably just depress yourself. Other areas you may want to reconsider showing on camera include the underside of your sack, the front of your sack, any parts of you covered in hair and the back of your head if you have one of those weird skin folds.

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You know those things? It's like a dinner roll of head flesh. Just off putting, that is. The thing about porn sex is that it's designed specifically to be filmed.

Like have you ever noticed how often Good homemade porn get into the most horribly uncomfortable looking positions?

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That's to accommodate a sweaty man with a large camera who wants to perform an unlicensed colonoscopy or some other manner of internal review with a fish-eye lens. So we're given a wide array of shots and angles that necessitate the performers humping around corners and engaging in visually stunning but horribly unfulfilling Good homemade porn.

True story: Back in aught-6 Good homemade porn was inspired after viewing some adult cinema to try sex standing up.

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Like the kind where you just pick the woman right up and hold her there like some kind of bag Good homemade porn hump potatoes. What was I thinking? I work at a computer all day, my whole body has atrophied to pudding.


To this day my back has not healed and there's still a dent in the drywall from my head. Porn inspires you to do stupid sex.

Sex that doesn't really feel good but we're convinced is awesome because porn stars seem to love it. And it'd be wild too. She'd call Weetabix a whore and tell it to spank her. Wish I had some Weetabix You break out the camera and you think you're going to capture unchained passion but really Good homemade porn probably just going to catch your goodie bag jiggling like a cat toy made from bologna.

Some Good homemade porn like amateur porn because of its "grittiness"; which is like enjoying authentic Central American water for the dysentery. Porn has to have some quality for it to be good. Good homemade porn

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Real porn is on a sound stage, or at least some dude's backyard, Good homemade porn lighting and sound equipment and the camera probably Good homemade porn come from the Wal-Mart electronics department. Have you ever been in a public restroom when an overweight man in a hurry comes in?

And you're forced to take the next stall and just sit in silent horror and listen as he tries to both get comfortable and stave off an aneurysm? NO socks.

Especially, NO dress socks. If you are a bit overweight, NO t-shirts to cover your gut.

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Own your rolls, and celebrate the fact that heavy people have sex, too. And with sex, besides lube if the type of sex calls Good homemade porn itthere should be no other non-human priority during the sex. Your playmate s should be your focus.

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Good homemade porn are there to experience you, and you are there to experience them. Let the knowledge of being watched by the electric eye of a camera be a thought in the back of your mind. One that adds to the sensations from your partner snot distracts you.

As I said in my previous tip, Good homemade porn voyeurs watching a video like to feel like a Peeping Tom.

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Let the natural sounds of sex take over. They wanted to get away from the exaggerations.

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To avoid lessening the attentiveness that should go to your partner by doing a lot of going and stopping, Good homemade porn the camera at a good midpoint between your top 2 preferred angles. This way, with the right video editing Good homemade porn, you might be able to zoom in for a glimpse or more of the body parts and movements you are trying to show.

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Or again, use video editing software to Good homemade porn in and move the picture over to get rid of faces. Yes, you are making a video.

But you are still having sex with your partner. They are giving their body to you, so please be attentive and make your passion about them and not Good homemade porn perfect shot. For sex with them alone should be the perfect shot. This is still the case even if you find or create something to attach the camera to Good homemade porn.

Homemade porn should not make the viewer get motion sickness. Unfortunately, this is usually the end result when someone makes a homemade video while holding the camera.

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Thanks for connecting! You're almost done. Connect to your existing Cracked account if you have one or create a new Cracked username. So you just watched Chyna's muscular, pocky heiny get befouled Good homemade porn a Good homemade porn little man, and you're pretty confident that you could wrangle up an inebriated girl with five kids and low self-esteem who might want to make a movie too. That's awesome. I've pondered it too but any time I bring the idea up it's generally met with revulsion. Xxx wet videos Homemade porn Good.

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